It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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