Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
