Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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