I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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