I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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