let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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