I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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