So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize