It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
