Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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