Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize