I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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