she was so not down for the gang bang
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
