You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize