My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize