How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize