all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
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