I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize