Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
