highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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