I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
