There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
