i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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