it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
only you would photoshop your dick
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize