Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
