Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize