too bad you live with your parents still
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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