She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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