You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
