I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
