need another drink. this is the easiest way
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
