listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
where are you?
Hypothermia
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize