Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
