he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
