I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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