he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
They have beer where we have blood.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
