I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
