I seem to have left my pride at pride
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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