The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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