you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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