If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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