I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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