i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
