Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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