I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
