I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Randomize