im drinking this country out of the recession.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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