...so i touched it.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
