My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
