I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
