I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
