I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
