Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
