Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Drake has all the answers
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
