doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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