i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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