got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
