i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
