Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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